The Lost Tales of Fionn Mac Cumhaill

Mind your step

fionnfolk — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 22:44:30 +0000

Since this old book came out I’ve had some peculiar messages.

One shady looking gentleman protests that he is not a character from the book. Others are claiming that they are characters from the book. And there’s irate professor Festus. Imposter posters? Maybe I could impose on you to do 3 things for me:

First, if you haven’t read it (what ails you?) read all ABOUT it.
Next, start the player here to listen to Mammy Una’s favourite grand nephew Tommy Hayes and his friends play a tune.
Now, as you listen, take a scroll through the posts and tell me what you make of it all.

O’Neill

You will REGRET this

fionnfolk — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 22:37:52 +0000

WARNING: Don’t buy this book. It’s lies. LIES! This O’Neill is merely jealous of my success. My head shop and nite club earn me serious money. And respect in the town of Mullach.

This ‘Trevor Saltee’ character is plainly a slander on my good self. O’Neill is trying to stab me with his biro..

O’Neill, you think you’re smart! You’ll be very very sorry. Nobody messes with Terrence Sail and gets away with it!

T. F. Sail esq.

Little Twisters

fionnfolk — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 22:35:23 +0000

My subjects recall my heroism. I brought honour to my lands. Contrary to what this manuscript proclaims, it is well known that I fought nobly against faeries and other weasels. I was never even in Éirinn at any time as far as I can remember. I was never called ‘The Bear’. The term is an insult that I outlawed for all time.

This manuscript is a work of foul calumny and I sense little weasel hands at work.This writer is no more than a dumb channel for their work. Their aim is to rewrite legends to make themselves smell better.

I care little what the people of the uncivilized lands of Éirinn think. However, I command the peoples of my own Lands of Cornobha and Móna to disregard these twistings of history. I rewarded bad poets well to record my true deeds and sing my praises. That is how I shall be remembered. I never had any truck with that ‘other’ people. I never associated with a little deceiving enchantress. Nobody shall be fooled! Heroism was my only trade.

Fleadh agus Fáilte

fionnfolk — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 22:34:49 +0000

Come to my home, Terence Sail. Here in Killahara Castle old friends are met with the warmest of welcomes. Enemies… well that’s for the spirits of the castle to decide.

O’Neill

Howdy

fionnfolk — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 22:32:34 +0000

Mighty job dude.

The Red

fionnfolk — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 22:30:45 +0000

Ahem.

I DEMAND ANSWERS!

fionnfolk — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 22:29:43 +0000

I am not too modest to call myself an expert. I have two Doctorates in Irish Mythology and Folklore. I will allow NOBODY to mess with my heritage. That includes you, Mr. O’Neill.

I have never heard of a ‘Saile’, a ‘Gearraí’, ‘Tizzie’, or a ‘Bronloider’.

I find this quite suspect.

Please reveal your sources forthwith or I assure you this book will be getting very bad reviews in the folk literature circles.

Professor Festus Ó Ceallaigh Ph.D.²

Ask Arthur

fionnfolk — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 22:27:06 +0000

Dear Dr. Ó Ceallaigh

Young Dark is the one who met these people. Maybe he can enlighten us.

Blessings on your work,

O’Neill (D. HP.)

Answers not BS!

fionnfolk — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 22:24:41 +0000

Don’t insult me O’Neill.

I’m not going to talk to some slip of a chap about serious cultural matters.

As for this so-called review - Forgery, Fraud, and Flatulence! No right minded person could have written this. I can only imagine O’Neill himself wrote it and I will be in contact with the honourable lady who he has impersonated. I doubt she will be very impressed to have her name misused like this.

Not that this will trouble O’Neill who seems to have scant regard for the reputation and life work of people better than himself.

I am beginning to think you’re a bit of a blackguard, Mr. O’Neill.

Professor Festus Ó Ceallaigh Ph.D.²

fionnfolk — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 22:23:18 +0000

Indeed now.