Mind your step

Since this old book came out I’ve had some peculiar messages.

One shady looking gentleman protests that he is not a character from the book. Others are claiming that they are  characters from the book. And there’s irate professor Festus. Imposter posters? Maybe I could impose on you to do 3 things for me:

• First, if you haven’t read it (what ails you?) read all ABOUT it.
• Next, start the player here to listen to Mammy Una’s favourite grand nephew Tommy Hayes and his friends play a tune.
• Now, as you listen, take a scroll through the posts and tell me what you make of it all.

O’Neill

You will REGRET this

WARNING: Don’t buy this book. It’s lies. LIES! This O’Neill is merely jealous of my success. My head shop and nite club earn me serious money. And respect in the town of Mullach.  

This ‘Trevor Saltee’ character is plainly a slander on my good self. O’Neill is trying to stab me with his biro..

O’Neill, you think you’re smart! You’ll be very very sorry. Nobody messes with Terrence Sail and gets away with it!

T. F. Sail esq.

Little Twisters

My subjects recall my heroism. I brought honour to my lands.  Contrary to what this manuscript proclaims, it is well known that I fought nobly against faeries and other weasels. I was never even in Éirinn at any time as far as I can remember. I was never called ‘The Bear’. The term is an insult that I outlawed for all time.

This manuscript is a work of foul calumny and I sense little weasel hands at work.This writer is no more than a dumb channel for their work. Their aim is to rewrite legends to make themselves smell better.

I care little what the people of the uncivilized lands of Éirinn think. However, I command  the peoples of my own Lands of Cornobha and Móna to disregard these twistings of history. I rewarded bad poets well to record my true deeds and sing my praises. That is how I shall be remembered. I never had any truck with that ‘other’ people. I never associated with a little deceiving enchantress. Nobody shall be fooled! Heroism was my only trade.

Fleadh agus Fáilte

Come to my home, Terence Sail. Here in Killahara Castle old friends are met with the warmest of welcomes. Enemies… well that’s for the spirits of the castle to decide.

O’Neill

Howdy

Mighty job dude.

The Red

Ahem.

I DEMAND ANSWERS!

I am not too modest to call myself an expert. I have two Doctorates in Irish Mythology and Folklore. I will allow NOBODY to mess with my heritage. That includes you, Mr. O’Neill.

I have never heard of a ‘Saile’, a ‘Gearraí’, ‘Tizzie’, or a ‘Bronloider’.

I find this quite suspect.

Please reveal your sources forthwith or I assure you this book will be getting very bad reviews in the folk literature circles.

Professor Festus Ó Ceallaigh Ph.D.²

Ask Arthur

Dear Dr. Ó Ceallaigh

Young Dark is the one who met these people. Maybe he can enlighten us.

Blessings on your work,

O’Neill (D. HP.)

Answers not BS!

Don’t insult me O’Neill.

I’m not going to talk to some slip of a chap about serious cultural matters.

As for this so-called review – Forgery, Fraud, and Flatulence! No right minded person could have written this. I can only imagine O’Neill himself wrote it and I will be in contact with the honourable lady who he has impersonated. I doubt she will be very impressed to have her name misused like this.

Not that this will trouble O’Neill who seems to have scant regard for the reputation and life work of people better than himself. 

I am beginning to think you’re a bit of a blackguard, Mr. O’Neill.

Professor Festus Ó Ceallaigh Ph.D.²

Indeed now.

Believe what you want.

I don’t lie.

But you all can say what you want. You’re mistaking me for someone who cares.

The Dark (Arthur Mc.)

Leave Arthur be!

The Doctor is right of course. None of those good people exists. Not the Bronloider. Not Fiachra. Not Tizzie. And certainly not the fine old darling, Saileach. Only pisreógs is all they are. They’ll leave you alone as long as you leave them alone.  

And besides, you would only see people like them if they wanted you to.

Now leave our Arthur alone!

Con

Bronloider? Fiachra? Tizzie? Saileach?

Can you see them? Try clicking but don’t forget to come back…..

Afraid of the dark?

I’m not afraid of The Dark

C.

And another thing

O’Neill, I warned you already. You will be very sorry. Hippies and teenagers all over Mullach. This ‘Doctor’ Ó Ceallaigh below is no doctor. He couldn’t cure my boils.

They all think I know something about ‘Saile’ or ‘The Bear’ whoever the hell they are!  

Now hear this all you FREAKS. Nobody screws with Terence Sail. You heard it here first.

T.F. Sail

Saile? The Bear?

Most people cannot see them. If you can, do NOT look in their eyes.

Where does Arthur belong?

I have been asked: if Arthur truly drank from Etain’s cup as he says, does he not now belong with the little people?

I don’t know. And that’s a fact.

O’Neill

Well well

Explain this then!

OK then so you want to cast aspersions on a man who has done you barely any harm. Let the neutral reader be the judge. Who is the real baddie here?  Is it the so-called,  ’Trevor Saltee’ , a man who is highly respected and has rarely been in trouble with the police? OR IS IT O’Neill’s hero the so called ‘Connie’ and his lanky side-kick ’Dark’.

Who is the one in jail? Answer me that!

And by the way, here’s an image that a little bird SMSd to me. I know for a fact that this was taken in a tractor shed not very far from here. Let me see the bold Con and his lad explain that!!

T.F.Sail

Decent skin

Connie’s more sensible collie Psycho is a good judge of character. And she trusts Arthur.

They always say a dog with a china eye can see right through you.

But I wouldn’t know.

O’Neill

hmmm

Gurrier

Arthur McLean is a very troublesome student. He may not say much, but he is a bad influence on others. Don’t ask me how he does it. But he is a bad egg. I’m sure of that.  ’The Dark’ they call him. That tells you something. No good will come of him.

Ms. Jennifer Sullivan, B.A

Triumph

Some day soon the cunning and the wicked will take their rightful place. The soft, the feeble, the kind-hearted will all be crushed.

Anon.

Nothing more

I can’t tell you anything more for now.

The Dark

Watch out

The last laugh will be mine. Terence Sail will have everything before this is all done.

T.F. Sail

Whishht now!

Leave all that stuff alone like good people. Some things are best left unsaid. Why don’t you all just study your map and be kind to each other.

Una (Mammy) Moriarity.

Final warning

All is not well, O’Neill.

Your ‘Dark’ and ‘Connie’ may venture into the past. But be warned!

It is dangerous to get entangled in other people’s worlds.

That is my last word on this for now.

Professor Festus Ó Ceallaigh Ph.D.²

I’m away…

So, reader, there you have it.

The blanket of night is falling on the countryside and I’m off out for a wander in the bogs to see what interesting creatures I might meet. If I hear any news or stories I’ll report back to you. 

Feel free to comment since everyone else has.

You’ll have to get the book if you want to hear more.

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